I was shopping for an Elliptical on Craigslist one evening when I ran across a posting that said:  Rarely used Elliptical, mostly used as bathrobe hanger…lol. Upon further examination, it appeared to be the same Elliptical I had been eyeing at the local Sporting goods store. Currently selling for over $1200.  This one was listed for $299.. what a deal!  It was late at night so I set a reminder to call him 1st thing in the morning to claim my prize.  

The 8:00 am call went like this:  Hi, I'm calling about your Bathrobe Hanger… I mean Elliptical.  A gentleman by the name of Gari )with an “I” as he pointed out) was quick to tell me how they had grand ideas on getting into beach body shape but that just wasn’t happening and he just needed this gym equipment gone.   I expressed that I would be happy to take this off of his hands got the address and arranged to meet him in a few hours. He described his community as gated with a security guard and to ask for Gary with an “I”.   GARI

As I was winding my way up into the thick forest to the top of an unpaved road I began to worry a bit about my safety as we have all heard the urban legend stories about the lady that went to claim her one-of-a-kind treasure and ended up with one less kidney.  I quickly called my co-worker and gave her my location and instructions on where to find me, or my body if I didn’t call her back in 30 minutes.

As I approached the gate, basically an old frayed rope across the entrance I spotted an older woman eating a Subway sandwich.  Her back was to me so I pulled forward and rolled down my window.  When she turned around I quickly noticed that she was naked except for a scarf around the back of her chair.  She quickly asked if I was there for Gari, I said yes and she instructed that his house was down about half a block on the right side.  He was waiting for me.  As she untied the rope I inched forward unsure of why I was proceeding but didn’t know what else to do.. she was very friendly and maybe she just had a very sheer dress on.  Anyway as I drove in I quickly noticed several more naked people, everywhere, playing volleyball, lying in the sun, riding bikes, etc… my mind was a blur.  I just keep driving not really knowing where to look.  I then noticed Gari on his deck next to his Elliptical Bike.  I unrolled my window and waved.  He waved back and said, “Well here she is”. He proceeded to jump on and start peddling like a madman, naked and swinging to and fro ( get it, no manscaping here) I was in a trance not really understanding what was going on. I wasn’t feeling threatened by this group of friendly, naked, middle-aged, out-of-shape Summer camp people.  When I came back to my senses I quickly told Gari that this wasn’t the model I was looking for but thanks for the demo and peeled out of there. Not enough bleach in a bottle for me to pack that thing into my SUV!!  As I was leaving, several people waiving as I went I then saw the sign in the rearview mirror  “ Tiger Mountain Family Nudist Park' 

Oh I’m still looking for that Elliptical if you have one laying around

~Sill laughing, Robin